everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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