come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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