i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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