why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
