I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He told me they were just razor bumps!
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
