I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
