Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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