you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
