my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
do nipples grow back?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
