sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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