and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
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