So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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