Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
