i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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