She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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