I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We left an ass print on the piano.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
