he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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