some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
