Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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