community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
