smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
