sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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