i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
