just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
