i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
