his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
