if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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