apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
