i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
