I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
