I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
