my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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