So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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