Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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