Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
