she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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