So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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