I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
is wine microwaveable?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
