please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
