I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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