According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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