Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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