The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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