Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
