You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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