if only i could text you this smell
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Randomize
