I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
