Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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