People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
