There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
