Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
