no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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