I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
